I don’t love field education… I should, I know, but I don’t. It’s hard. And uncomfortable. And inherently the work of Jesus.
Yes. I am hanging my head in shame at this ballsy bit of honesty.
This past week, Tuesday to be precise, I got up with a long face on a cold and rainy morning to visit a cold and depressing place. A cold and depressing place that is hope and love and light and HOME to little orphaned angels. Me, who left my warm and comfortable room to travel with other seminarians to visit little people in the home they seldom get to leave. And I was grumpy. Lord have mercy!
En route I thought about my dark mood, the Spirit was possibly interceding on behalf of my resistant, ungrateful self in order to turn this attitude around and it worked, because as we travelled this thought came to mind: ‘Doing the things we least enjoy, with an open heart, is an act of love.’
My attitude was given Grace to turn itself around. I may not have wanted to go, but in going I was doing something rooted in love. I was offering myself in service. Small, but significant.
And this is what greeted me: lots of tiny little bodies, excited faces, freezing little hands and feet, wheezing tight chests and runny noses, grimy peanut butter fingers eagerly offering me a new hair style, back combed and fabulous. Love, love and more love. As I sat warming a small person on my lap, six hands ran through my hair, arms and fingers were linked with mine, we said to one another, ‘you’re special, I love you’ over and over. My heart turned into mush.
Doing this work is not always easy, I guess it’s not meant to be, but each and every time I visit with one of these agencies, I am reminded of the need for sacrificial love, the gift that IS sacrificial love, the need to reach out and love and be loved. To say my day was transformed by these angels is an understatement …
The greyness of the day was lit up by the bright and the beautiful and the numinous!
An act of love, small though it may have been, was all it took and I am grateful as always to be reminded of my blessings and to share some of what I have with those who give me so.much.more!
Yours in future grump, continually transformed…
Check out my babies – be careful, you may just melt too.