I have moved!
All my worldly goods have been dropped off in Pietermaritzburg and I have moved in with the gay husbands until I start Seminary next year. Peace. At last.
As I packed up these last few days I kept thinking to myself, how do you dismantle a life?
How do you eat an elephant?
How do you dismantle a life? Well, piece by piece I guess… and that’s what I have done, I have dismantled my life as I have come to know it, piece by piece, ready to embark on a completely new one. I am going from living with two precious little four-legged girls, answerable to no one, to living with three other women, with a timetable for living (gonna take some getting used to I imagine).
And so Sunday night I had another little freak out. Again I thought to myself, are you doing the right thing? Are you sure this is the life you are going to choose for yourself? And then a dream I had in May of this year slipped in under the veil consciousness to bring me some clarity…
It was whilst I was away at Synod, having given my testimony for my candidacy to full-time ministry that I dreamt this …
I dreamt a man and I were walking along a grassy path towards a stream, as we walked we came upon two little angel fish flapping in the grass, both completely white, as though their ‘life-blood’ had drained out of them . My companion and I picked up one little angel fish each and rushed them down to the water’s edge to release them back into the water. As we let them go into the fast flowing stream they both swam off, regaining their colour as they did so, happy to be back in their environment, ready to flourish and swim and be where they were supposed to be. At the time I took the dream to mean that I was on the ‘right path’.
I was born for this journey, I know that. And so on Monday morning when I remembered this dream I was able to tell myself, I AM doing the right thing, this IS the right decision, it may seem like I am losing my life, as I lie in the grass ready to take my place in the stream. I am being released into the environment that will enable me to thrive, the environment God has prepared me for. It’s not necessarily going to be easy, but then I am not looking for easy I am looking for right.
Jesus tells us we need to give up our lives in order to gain them (Matt 16:25) and so it is with a growing sense of anticipation that I relinquish this season in order to embrace a new season. A new life. A colourful life. Dare I say it? A BlissPhil life …